Before answering the question of how to avoid a certain syndrome, we of course need to know what that syndrome is. We will lay out the syndrome to you as if you’re the one about to experience the freshman crash and burn syndrome.
Here’s the scenario. Your whole life, your parents have always been looking over your shoulder, to a greater or lesser extent. They have a significant influence on what you do, when you do it, with whom you associate, when you go out, and what parties you are allowed to attend (and conversely, which ones you cannot.)
Then, one day you’re off to college. You pack up your car, wave goodbye to your family, and just like that, you are almost completely free. You move in to your dorm, start your first semester, make a whole bunch of new friends, and get invited to some major parties, many of which involve alcohol. You get to meet some very attractive members of the opposite sex. Wow! All at the same time, you discover freedom, alcohol, new friends, parties, and girls (or guys) whom you find attractive. What to do?
Unfortunately, too many students fall into the trap of too many parties, too much frolic, and an unbalanced social life to the exclusion of their studies. They take exams unprepared, they turn in papers that were quickly thrown together at the last minute, they oversleep through class, and they lose whole days recovering from drinking binges. But unlike grade school or high school, no deficiency slips are issued, no notes go home for parents to sign, no poor progress reports are seen by anyone. Instead, the semester slowly sinks, one poor performance after another, until finals roll around, and the semester is beyond salvage.
It is only when report cards come out that parents even realize there is a problem. One question runs through their minds: “What on earth happened?” And our student, once a sure bet for the honor role, can offer no satisfactory explanation.
That first semester or two can have long-term consequences, even life-altering ones. Such consequences include, but are not limited to, flunking out of school, losing scholarships or even financial aid, and being dropped from competitive programs, such as engineering. In fact, entire doors of life may be slammed shut permanently. For example, suppose a student starts out as pre-med, hoping to become a doctor one day. Let’s say that he has a couple of lost semesters starting college. He may be dropped from the pre-med program entirely. Or he can continue in the program, but not get any letters of recommendation for his medical school applications, effectively blocking his application. Or he may even make it into the medical school applicant pool, but may be rejected due to his low GPA from one or two “lost” semesters. Thus, that rough start in college can have long-term impacts, some even life-changing.
So we’ve identified the problem of freshman “crash and burn” syndrome, and shown its significance, but have yet to demonstrate how to prevent it. How exactly does one avoid the syndrome?
Although there is no one-size-fits-all solution, there are several things that parents can do to lessen its likelihood. First, part of problem is that students don’t always appreciate college as a unique opportunity, a privilege as opposed to a God-given right. One solution to this is to have the student take a job that he is qualified to do, as a non- college graduate, while in high school, such as in fast food, landscaping, janitorial services, retail, or manual labor jobs such as moving services, maintenance or construction. We’re not talking about a one or two week assignment; rather, full-time summer employment, part-time employment during the school year, or maybe even full-time employment for a year after high school if the student and/or parent has a question about the student’s readiness for college. What taking on such a job does for the student is to help him appreciate the value of a college education, and realize that there are a lot of people who get stuck doing menial jobs because they lack a college education, and that is where the student will be if he doesn’t take college seriously.
Second, while the student is still living at home, prepare her for college life by giving her progressively more freedom and responsibility before she leaves home. Put her on the honor system to get her work done, to meet her responsibilities, and to make good choices, while allowing her to pursue healthy social relationships, without excessive parental micromanaging along the way, so-called “helicopter parenting.” If she meets your expectations with the additional freedom and responsibility, then she will be on her way to surviving her first semester of college, which is always the hardest. If she demonstrates that she cannot handle the additional responsibilities and freedom, then she will likely struggle with the away-from-home experience college experience. She may need additional time in a transitional environment, such as a community college, or may need to complete the first few years of college at a local university, while living at home. This is a much better option than watching the student fail from afar.
Third, present alcohol to the student in a context that is appropriate and non-destructive (of course, if consistent with your religious convictions). Most, if not all, states allow an individual under 21 to consume alcohol if in the presence of a parent. Serve a glass or two of red or white wine to a high schooler occasionally with dinner so that the student begins to understand the appropriate use of alcoholic beverages. The idea is that by exposing the student to alcohol in small amounts in an appropriate context, the student is less likely to engage in inappropriate use of alcohol, such as binge drinking, first “discovered” on a college campus, where parental influence may be non-existent.
Fourth, an issue that many students have that contributes to difficulties in the first year of college is homesickness. For many students, college is the first time being away from home and family for any extended period of time. A student may compensate for this feeling of absence by engaging in inappropriate behavior. This problem can be avoided by sending the student away from home for progressively longer periods of time. Good reasons for the student to be away include summer camp, visiting relatives or friends, school-related trips, travel abroad, foreign exchange programs, vacations and summer job internships and volunteer experiences. The idea here is to slowly allow the student to adapt to the feeling of being away from home and family, instead of her having a huge shock in her first semester in college, when she already has enough pressure to deal with.
Fifth, allow your child opportunities for normal socialization and interaction with members of the opposite sex while they still live at home. For someone to “discover” girls (or boys) for the first time in a college setting can be very distracting and a barrier to academic success. Balancing relationships, whether platonic or romantic, with the obligations of school or work, is something that has to be learned anyway, and the sooner, the better. For students to be trying to achieve this healthy balance for the first time in their first semester in college is a tall order. Therefore, encourage your son or daughter to deal with these issues while you still have some say in the matter because, I can assure you, you will be able to do very little in the short term when your son or daughter stops going to class at his school on the other side of the country because he is spending all his time with the new fling.
Sixth, keep an open communication channel with your son or daughter. Let them know ahead of time that you will want to know how they are doing, grade-wise, during the course of the semester, not just at the end. If their answers seem evasive or don’t completely add up, ask for some documentation to support their claims that they are doing “fine.” Professors may post grades through electronic reporting systems such as WebCT that your son or daughter may agree to allow you to log in to, or you can have your student email or fax their results on exams and papers. For highly motivated students, this is probably entirely unnecessary, but for students who may have a tendency to slide through, this can help a parent to spot problems early, when the situation can still be remedied.
Seventh, pay attention to your son or daughter’s living conditions at the school. Try to ensure that your child’s living environment is conducive to academic success. Is he in a dorm setting that is noisy or has a party atmosphere? Does your student have roommates who are interfering with his study time? Are his roommates screwballs who drink and do drugs all night and then sleep all day? Would off-campus housing be more suitable for your son? Does he have a suitable environment for getting adequate sleep and for studying? Living conditions should be optimized from the outset by determining what is the best environment for your student’s success, and trying to attain that environment as quickly as possible. If an environment, such as having one or more roommates, does not produce the desired academic results, consider making modifications, such as having him or her move into a single room or live off-campus.
Finally, it is important to note that if, despite your best efforts, your son or daughter does fall victim to freshman “crash and burn” syndrome, remember that it is entirely possible to overcome a bad semester or year. But it will require your student to admit the problem, propose changes for overcoming the problem, and implement the changes. But simply ignoring the problem or won’t resolve it; instead, a proactive approach, combined with good communication, can help your student move to an academic turnaround.
Avoiding freshman “crash and burn” syndrome is entirely possible, but it takes planning, forethought, communication, and appropriate action. The crisis that never was is the best kind of crisis of all.